NurHidayah, 22.
Muslimah, Malay, Singapore.
Teacher by profession.
Graphic Designer/Video Editor by passion.

"I am a spirit on a human journey, not a human on a spiritual journey"

5 things I like about myself

Rookh3zee sent me this so here are the 5 things I like about myself:

  1. I find that I am good at anything I am passionate in
  2. I am independent and a free-spirit
  3. I’m an extrovert but not the clingy type that constantly needs the attention of others
  4. I can be very emotional but I pick myself up fairly quickly. Never the type to dwell on things but that doesn’t mean I forget.
  5. I am emotionally strong. I can move on. 

<3

Request

Salaam..

I dont usually do this.. but please spare a dua for my mother’s health. She is 44 and has minor diabetes and recently we got to know that she is pregnant. She is worried and scared for her health and the baby’s. I love her too much to see her suffer from her phobia of needles due to the daily insulin jabs and blood sugar level tests :’(

May Allah ease everyones’ affairs. 

I am happy. I get to do a job which I love.. I have picked up a new hobby and I have been insanely passionate ever since.. I get to meet the people who matters most so frequently that it feels like a routine of warmth and fondness.

but I feel that slight emptiness. the small black hole that devours. and I know what it is. 

just..

I need time to recuperate my iman.

Dear you,

I am angry because I’m not some big great love that you had. that there was someone before me whom I know you really truly love. and it hurts me knowing that. and I’m angry because after 2 years, I’m still not 100% over you but you have moved on from your feelings and whatever we had. 

I’m sorry that I said I dont wanna talk to you anymore. but that’s the truth. I forgive you. but I still have a soft spot for you. sometimes I think to myself, doesn’t he love me anymore?

I hope that we will both find someone who will love us deeper and fiercer and make us forget our wounds because we deserve it. you deserve it. 

Thank you for loving me and supporting me in the shadows all this while. I love you. 

2013 plans

I hope that come July, I will become a full-fledged art instructor and teach art at more schools. Definitely enjoying myself as an assistant now.. love teaching kids. SO hard to discipline though. 
I still want to continue doing freelance graphic design! Boss is sending me more and more projects! Excited to expand my portfolio and experience. 
Its fun to work at 3 places: teaching art, doing design and giving tuition every sunday. 

I take 2013-2014 as like ‘gap years’ where I gain experience and learn more about myself! Gonna take things slow. Family pushing me to be a teacher but I’m skeptical about it. Mainly because I think that I might be a better teacher in my later years when I have experienced life more fully? Just my two cents.

I will slowly plan to be more independent and take better care of myself and be stronger spiritually.